Arlovski 360 Episode 1
Where's the Christmas Spirit, Emo Kid?
Well, it's that special time of year again for those who feel they are somehow ABOVE partaking in any sort of tradition that brings together friends and family and promotes goodwill towards man (and woman!). I'm looking at YOU, Emo Kid! Yes, YOU!
You, with your chucks and your Pete-Wentz-style eyeliner (are you TRYING to look like a chick??) and your thrift shop clothes that you ACTUALLY got at Urban Outfitters with Mommy & Daddy's credit card. And the goddamn Pabst Blue Ribbon. Can't forget that.
But in your defense, oh surly, misunderstood one, sure, we all know that we consumer-obsessed Americans have turned Christmas into a commercial whoring out of Jesus, I mean Santa Claus, I mean, where's the sale at? Macy's?
Okay, okay, I can see where the Scrooges are coming from. Christmas just isn't what it used to be. But this spiked eggnog and closeted lighted-tree lover has hope. That's right, hope isn't just about Presidential elections, but about the true meaning of Christmas.
Basically, we all po. We all so broke because of this shiteous economy that we can't afford to waste, I mean, spend, money we don't have on things our friends and family DON'T NEED. So let's hop on the latest bandwagon and CREATE gifts for our loved ones, instead of buying them crap. Make a craft, bake some cookies, go to a REAL thrift store, Emo kid, and try to enjoy this one time of year where you can throw all your petty cares into the chestnut roasted fire and chill out, dude. If all else, you get time off from school and work to open presents and get drunk, jeez.
Read Comments..Tim & Elaine FAIL
How shortsighted can two yuppies be? Tim & Elaine probably quit their financial jobs when the economy started tanking and decided that opening up a Halloween superstore would be smart. Too bad they didn't read the fine print on the lease. And everyone knows that the only time people care about dismembered arms and fake spiders are the last two weeks of October. After that, no one cares.
Maybe they could use the leftover fake blood for dyeing the cranberry sauce a really deep red. Yummy.
Read Comments..Andrei "Pit Bull" Arlovski gettin big ups on Showtime
Yo fools. Berserkey here.
Got an update for all my MMA fans out there. I got it on good authority that Andrei The Pit Pull Arlovski is gonna be on Showtime's version of HBO's 24/7 before his next fight. We gonna peep all the behind the scenes action that goes on before the big day. I'm so fucking pumped for it. I'm gonna borrow BCN's crowbar and go steal a TV and a cable subscription after I finish typing this blog - that's how pumped I am.
"The Day of Reckoning" is January 24th,2009. Get ready bitches. Andrei is gonna take back his heavyweight belt like I stole my $40 back from that tranny hooker on Halsted street.
Recognize, Bizzurks
Read Comments..CheneyBot Is Immune To Indictments!!
Foolish humans! You cannot attempt to punish CheneyBot! 10,000 years ago he was granted access to this plane of existence by Lucifer himself! At the End of Days it is he who will stand in judgment of you!
Now go eat at Pizza Hut and quit worrying about things.
Read Comments..