Digital Funtown - funny,videos,computers,download,digital,college,university,textbooks,iphone,classes,lsat,gre,ringtone,upload, UK Schools bar parents from sports day to keep out pedophile - 'Parents have been banned from attending their children's sports day in an extraordinary measure to protect pupils from child abductors and pedophiles. ' Confirmed: Star Wars Live Action TV Series Starts Shooting - 'Over the last few hours I’ve been following rumors of a Star Wars live action television series which will be shot in Australia — well I’ve just confirmed from a source who has a friend that works at ILM that this rumor is in fact true! ' Walt Disney World unveils robotic version of President Obama - 'Now, we've never been to this "Hall of Presidents" at Walt Disney World in Orlando, Florida, but we're thinking about heading down there today -- not because the newest animatronic addition -- President Barack Obama -- has just been unveiled, but because his likeness is so... unlike him, so incredibly, terrifyingly creepy. ' Woman Lay Dead In Her Flat For 5 years Before Anyone Noticed - 'Police made the grim discovery in Edinburgh's upmarket New Town district after a neighbour reported to the council that water was dripping through the ceiling from her flat. ' Gene Simmons Wants MJ Abuse Accusers to Speak Up - 'Gene Simmons says he's heard enough celebrity tributes to Michael Jackson, and wants to hear from the kids who accused the late pop singer of molestation. States reality TV star and KISS front man Simmons, "So while it's sad that (Jackson) had this sad life and I understand, that's horrible - Michael's not the only victim." ' AKMuckraker: What Is Sarah Palin Thinking? One Alaskan's Perspective - '' Geoffrey Dunn: The Real Story Behind Palin's Bombshell - '' Rob Richie: Sarah Palin's resignation to reduce women governors to six - '' Paul Begala: Sarah Palin Turns Pro - '' Paul Rieckhoff: Coming Home from War is No 4th of July Picnic - '' American Flag Bikini Moments: What's YOUR Favorite? (PHOTOS) - '' Shawn Amos: Michael Jackson's Fans & Neighbors Collide at Neverland - '' Adrien Brody's Shirtless, Fedora, Neckscarf Look (PHOTOS, POLL) - '' Madonna Plans Michael Jackson Tribute - '' ABBA Member Shoots Down Reunion Rumors - '' In Case You Missed It…. - 'CLICK HERE to catch up on all the celebrity juice you may have missed this week! CLICK HERE to catch up on all the celebrity juice you may have missed this week! CLICK HERE to catch up on all the celebrity juice you may have missed this week! CLICK HERE to catch up on all the celebrity juice [...]' Vintage Megan Fox! - ' Foxy, at the premiere of Confessions Of A Teenage Drama Queen, back in February of 2004. We're so happy she got rid of the chola eyebrows! [Images via WENN.] ' Sexy Sarah's Resignation Speech - ' Bless her heart! ' MJ Had Two Albums In The Works - ' Michael Jackson is dead. And that sucks. It really does. The saddest part of the sudden death of Michael Jackson is the loss of the artist who created such iconic music. Though there are rumors of secret musical vaults and unheard tracks, reports are now coming in that Jackson was working on two separate albums while [...]' Maniston's New Career Venture - ' Like many starlets before her, Jennifer Aniston is setting her sights on entering the "exciting", albeit risky world of owning a restaurant. Reports are saying that Jen is in the early stages of developing her own dining establishment. Little is known about when this will happen and what kind of restaurant it will be, but according [...]' North Korea test-fires 7 missiles, says Seoul - 'North Korea fired seven short-range missiles in less than seven hours today, South Korea's Foreign Ministry said today. The recent firings come amid heightened tensions on the Korean peninsula. The missiles were apparently Scud-type, estimated to have a range of about 310 miles, according to South Korea's Yonhap news agency. ' Palin: 'I know when it's time to pass the ball' - 'Sarah Palin said Friday that she will step down as Alaska's governor by the end of the month. She will not seek election to a second gubernatorial term in 2010. As the 2008 Republican vice presidential nominee, Palin had been considered one of the front-runners for the GOP nomination in 2012. ' Jackson fans face long odds for tickets - 'Fans continued to register by the thousands early Saturday, hoping to be among the 8,750 people who will be randomly picked to attend the memorial service for singer Michael Jackson next week. ' Diprivan risk well-known to doctors - 'While authorities do not yet know what killed Michael Jackson, the possibility that anesthetics -- particularly the drug Diprivan -- might be involved continues to swell. Sources close to Jackson told CNN's Dr. Sanjay Gupta that the singer traveled with an anesthesiologist who would "take him down" at night and "bring him back up" during a tour in the mid-'90s. ' 'Serial killer' sought in South Carolina - 'The Cherokee County Sheriff's Office on Friday released a second sketch of a man believed to have fatally shot four people in less than a week near Gaffney, South Carolina. "Let me say that, under the FBI's definition of a serial killer, yes, we have a serial killer," Sheriff Bill Blanton said. In addition, Blanton said he did not know whether the shooter knew his victims or whether he may have chosen them at random. '

 
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Macho Man Randy Savage Smokes Salvia... AND FREAKS OUT!

When is an ex-professional wrestler too irrelevant to experiment with semi-legal hallucinogenic drugs? Apparently at a point further along in Washed-Updom than Randy Savage is. Poor guy couldn't keep his wits about himself once the drugs took hold. Who can blame him? That salvia's powerful shit!

 

His freakout is our entertainment...

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Joaquin Phoenix Stole My Beard!

Celebrities can be inconsiderate douche bags. Like this dude, lives his entire life looking like a bum and then one day -- BOOM! -- suddenly he's a famous bum. And all because some celebrity douche bag decided to not shower for a couple months.Life's a bitch. This dude knows all about it...

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Short Shorts is Now My New Go to Source for Laughter

Oh man, there is no denying how tough it is out there these days. The economy has gone down the toilet to the point where not even the banks have money. Unemployment is rampant. More people are out of work now than at any point in the last couple of decades. It has gotten so bad that businesses are trying to capitalize on unemployment. A national men's clothier is running a deal that if you buy two new suites and lose your job within 60 days you get to keep the suits for free. With the way that the unemployment rate is climbing you would almost be a fool not to jump on those odds. Of course it would be pretty difficult to celebrate your two new free suits while living in your car. That is unless you got a new Hyundai. If you buy a Hyundai and lose your job, they say that they will do you the favor of taking the car back. In That case you lose your job, you lose your car and you’re sleeping down town under a bridge wearing your new suit. Well, at least you’ll still look sharp. You’ll smell real bad, but you’ll look sharp. These are times that might turn a man to drugs. But who can afford drugs? Well, I've found a way to laugh uncontrollably, unavoidably wet myself and escape life’s misery without drugs. And, best of all, it is absolutely free. I just sit back, plug in and take one of my daily hits of my new go to source for laughter, Short Shorts on Digital Funtown. Just about every selection is hilarious. And, if you are at work, just plug in your headphones. Each skit is just a few minutes long so the odds are pretty slim that your boss will catch you. Unless you’re one of those folk that laughs like a rabid hyena. And if you’re among the currently unemployed, then feel free to turn it up and laugh your broke ass off. I use to have CNN saved in my Internet favorites so I could skip over and catch up on what's going on in the world, but, as I said, the world is too miserable for news right now. I don't need to seek out bummers packaged in convenient 5 minute clips. Short Shorts skits are funny and topical. A spot on hit on our current times. For example, recently we got to hear all about the pirates who kidnapped the American Captain and tried to bring him to Somalia (BTW, it seems that kidnapping is now the ONLY way anybody gets to Somalia). Ok, interesting enough, but have you seen Pirate Wheel of Fortune? You can’t see this on CBS. The only place you can see it is on Short Shorts. You see the shtick coming from about a mile away, but it still delivers, "Can I get an aaarrrrrrrgghh?" Sext Messaging hits a little bit too close to home for me to be able to comment on objectively. If Verizon did carry a plan for sext messaging and I were still dating my ex-girlfriend it would be a definite money saver for me. Watch it with someone you love. Another one of my current favorites on Short Shorts is Sitar Hero. This clip is truly inspired. I have lost a few friends to Guitar Hero. They were intelligent, productive people at one time, but I honestly don’t think they have left their house in over a year. If they would actually spend the same amount of time playing an actual guitar they’d be Jimi Hendrix by now, without the rigor mortis. But Sitar Hero takes things to the next logical level. With how serious people take this game and the amount of time they dedicate to it, the possibility of achieving nirvana only seems fair. But my current favorite Short Shorts selection is, without a doubt, March Madness. I love ESPN, I love college basketball, I love Dick Vitale and I love March Madness. But if you ever have a couple days off in the month of March with nothing better to do except sit around and watch 6 or 7 hours of pre-tournament coverage on ESPN you just can help but witness the absurdity of it all. There really is only so much you can say and only so many ways to say it. After a few hours you start to realize that these people are actually saying nothing at all. The guys who did this skit hit the nail right on the head and slammed it home. So, if you want an accurate representation of what’s going on in the world, skip the news sites and tune in to a few clips on Short Shorts. Your life is sad enough as it is, let Short Shorts give you a few tears each day from laughter.  Read Comments..

Coffee and Dick Donuts?

What? You've never heard of a Dick Donut before? Well, don't feel too bad -- neither has Roscoe. Poor guy, he's about to learn a hard lesson about the things he puts into his body. The Dangers of the Dick Donut should not be ignored, the phenomena cannot be explained away, the problem is only GROWING in our modern world. So do yourself a favor and get educated, before the Dick Donut gets YOU!

 

Click below to save your soul. (Or at least your lunch...)

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Ballsack For The Win?

You've got to hand it to Ballsack (that's what she said), at least he's out there trying. After his career hit hard times, and his roommate got pissed off that he wouldn't stop eating all the damn Hot Pockets, Donald decided it was time to find a new profession to help pay the bills. But how would this beautiful butterfly force its untamed essence back into the cocoon, and in what form would it reemerge?

 

Donald Ballsack went awhile without trimming his trademark mustache, and thought...

 

Then he ran across a posting on Craigslist for an entry-level position at an Ad Agency. So he applied. And he did not sugar-coat his resume, he left everything out in the open -- (genital) warts and all.

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